Graduation

I did it.  Against all odds, against the statistics, against some peoples expectations.. I have finally finished my AA degree.  I can now slap a couple of bullets on my resume; AA in Journalism and I graduated Cum Laude -- with honors... I just like saying Cum Laude, it makes me sound fancy!  The Facebook walls of all my friends have been flooded with images of me in a cap and gown, and my notifications have been exploding since Saturday with congratulatory words of praise.  Now that the big event is over, friends and family have returned home, and the crazy is returning to normal, I finally have a moment to sit back and reflect.

First of all, what am I supposed to do with an AA in journalism?  In a perfect world I would want a column in a men's magazine... like Maxim or Playboy... and I would read scores of letters from confused men.  My goal in life would be to advise them on subjects involving the female brain.  The world would be a better place because of me!  I would settle for being a reporter.  I can see myself getting a call at 3am from my editor instructing me to be on a plane to DC in an hour for a personal one on one candid interview with the President.  My easy going personality and ability to make anyone comfortable would have made him/her request me by name.  Maybe I could even be a confidant to the beautiful people in Hollywood, they would trust me with all their secrets!

Pipe dreams, and nothing more.  The truth is, journalism is a dying industry and an AA alone truly means nothing.  Maybe, just maybe, I could get a job working in the mail room at the Gazette and hopefully work my way up to a paid internship.  I knew all of this going into the degree program.  At the time, I just wanted a degree to know that I could do it.  My entire adult life has been in the shadow of my husband.  I chose that life, and I pride myself in that choice for I am married to an extraordinary man, but I wanted something to call my own. 

Now that I have it, I have come to realize that I want more.  I don't just want a piece of paper to hang on the wall, I want to have my own career, my own identity, my own sense of self.  I want to be marketable.  I want to make a difference.  I want to be the person that the big shots turn to.   I have been accepted to the University of Colorado Colorado Springs into the Communications program.  With a BA in Mass Communications I can be all of those things.  There are so many different paths that can bring me to where I want to be.  I can be a public relations rep, I can be a speech writer, I can still write... ultimately, I can still be all powerful with my pen.

It's funny to look back on myself and see how I have changed.  In the beginning, school was simply something to do because I could.  I had goals, but no real direction.  Perhaps because it took me 7 years to achieve a 2 ear degree, but now those goals have driven me toward a direction.  I'm not quite ready for the real world yet, but I know that I will be soon... and when I step out into the sunlight without my training wheels for the first time I know that I can fly.  Why reach for the sky when there are footprints on the moon... right?