Adult Toy Story

This particular blog may be TMI  (too much information) for some family members and friends... proceed if you dare, but it is pretty damn funny!

Our first duty station was Fort Bragg, NC. As a PV2 my husband had big aspirations and like most 18 year olds had an unrealistic view of how much a dollar was worth, or how far it would stretch. He went out a few months ahead of me so that he, our son, and myself would have a home to live in.. instead of a cramped hotel room. Despite my adamant requests for a 2 bedroom apartment.. he took it upon himself to purchase a 3 bedroom house off base. I wasn't happy about it, but we made the most of what we could for as long as we could.

After about 4 years we were in over our heads and drowning in debt. We had a car payment, a house payment, utilities, and all of the other bills that come along with being a grown up. Our monthly bills equaled about $200 more than he was earning and we had to do something to get our heads above water. When he came back from his 1 year tour in Korea he went to housing and requested that we get on post housing. Because he was back from Korea, it was considered a PCS and we were bumped to the top of the list.. The house that we got on post was 500 sqft bigger, no rent, no utilities, and 5 minutes from his work... I was so excited! AND the military would move us for free!!!

We made our transportation appointment and the movers showed up to pack our things. I tied our dog up in the backyard, bought donuts for the morning and several sub sandwiches for lunch, and kept them well hydrated with soda and beer. I also made it a point to move certain... items... to one specific area and told them not to worry about that particular pile of stuff, that I would move it myself. All went well, they packed, moved, and unloaded all in one day.

That night, as we were settling into our first night in our new home I was looking for my hairbrush and blow dryer, both of which were stored in the hall closet between the bathroom and my bedroom. As I looked around the new house at the boxes that were piled from floor to ceiling I felt a little discouraged. I SO did not want to rummage through all of them at 11:30 at night!! BUT... to my great joy, I spotted a box labeled "MASTER BED: Towels, hairbrush, toys"

YAY!! It was the box I was looking for and I didn't even have to dig!! But.. toys? Did one of my children hide some little treasures in the hall closet? No matter, I ripped open the box in hairbrush victory! There it was... no, not my hairbrush, my vibrator. Nothing fancy, one of the simple long, slender ones... not even shaped like a man.. but it wouldn't be mistaken for wall art anytime soon.

I stood there staring at it for a few minutes, wondering how that one slipped out of my tedious preparations for the movers. Then I remembered that night before (it was a good night lol) Then I was overcome with humiliation when I remembered that it was the one good looking mover that was packing up my bedroom, and he kept grinning at me like he knew something I didn't know! Well he did... he knew where to find my little pink friend!